“Crypto-cacotopia and the perfect self-fulfilling doomsday device” is a short story about a possible future world in which cryptocurrencies and their proselytizers have brought about the fall of fiat and the collapse of the social contract. A lot has been written about cryptocurrencies in terms of their technical and practical shortcomings, and an increasing amount is being written about their environmental dangers, but not much about their potential impact on human relations and society.